Thursday, April 29, 2010

33 Wks, 3 Days: Randomness and Looking Forward

13 Days until my amnio! Is it wrong that I am hoping that it breaks my water and they have to deliver then and there???

I'm hoping this one is not like the one with E. I am thinking of banning J's presence during the procedure. I don't get squeamish around needles. I stick them in people's arteries for a living, for crying out loud. And I can hang with shots. But I do not like to see the needle going into me. During E's amnio, I looked away. I knew the needle was fricken huge. And going into my very pregnant belly? No way. So I focused on the screen, and told J to tell me when it was over. Well, he spoke too soon, and I looked just in time to see that enormous needle withdrawn from my belly. We will not have a repeat of that, though he still thinks it is hilarious.

In the meantime, summer is in the air. We've had some unseasonably cold days lately, but today was sunny and 70 degrees. E has about one month left of school before summer vacation starts, thanks to his school being very judicious about calling off for snow this winter. I grumbled and complained during winter, when all of the public schools were closing and we still had to transport E to and from. But now we are reaping the benefits, as they have to go longer into the summer. This is his spring school pic, and I had to post it because it broke my heart! Where did this grown-looking kid come from and what did he do with my baby??? They tell you time flies and you know it to be true, but you never realize just how quickly the days pass. He looks like such the little man that it tears my heart right out of my chest. (And incidentally, he looks identical to his father!)

So as the weather is warming up, we are all starting to make preparations for the change of season. I have been slowly but surely aquiring summer clothes for E this year. It's been difficult with my physical limitations right now. I'm used to just hitting the mall and having a little shopping marathon until I have everything for him that I need, but that just wasn't happening this year. So I think I am finally finished, and I perch myself on the floor of his bedroom to take inventory and make sure. And this is precisely when J ended up in the Doghouse!!!

Our house is a little backward. The living room, dining room, kitchen, and master bedroom are all upstairs on ground level. The laundry area, a partial basement, E's playroom, and E's bedroom are downstairs. The bottom line? Since bedrest struck, I don't go downstairs. J is now responsible for the laundry. (A task I was reluctant to relinquish control of, as I am anal-retentive about every aspect of laundry, from how the clothes are washed to how they are folded and put away.) So I haven't been in E's room either. In a very, very long time. So there I sit, going through dresser drawers and his closet as best I can without popping out a baby, and what do I find? Good Lord! 38 pairs of shorts. Thirty-Eight!!!! None of them worn out, all looking like new. All designer labels. But J didn't tell me this as we were shopping. Why, you ask? Because he didn't know! They were all stashed in corners of dresser drawers and on the shelves of E's closet because my husband is the least organized person on the planet. So this is, of course, in addition to the stuff I just bought him. And I bought him, as usual, enough clothes to last 2 weeks. So my kid has 52 pairs of shorts for summer. Insane. Obscene. Ridiculous. If J, in our ten years together, would have learned anything from my organization skills, he would have known this, but now, instead, I am going to end up dressing some needy child very, very well for the summer.

Of course with the warmer weather comes an increase in my restlessness. This is precisely the part of my maternity leave to which I was looking forward. I plan to go back to just work (as opposed to work and school) sooner than the normally-required 8-week c-section recovery period. I feel like I have to because of all of the time I have been off of work prior to deivery. But regardless, I will still get a large chunk of time off to spend with my family. E will still be in school for about the first 2 weeks post partum, long enough for my incision to heal a great deal. Then he will be out of school and we can spend our days together with J and the baby. I am having visions of long family walks,breaking in the new stroller. Of afternoons at the park and picnics. I cannot wait! Then, once I return to work, I will only be doing my obligate 3 12-hour shifts for the week, leaving 4 days a week with them for the remainder of the summer.

I am still waffling on the return to school. Being ready to return for fall will be a pig push, so I am thinking of returning in winter instead. But I did contact the College of Business this week, and discovered that being a Nerd has it's priviledges. I don't even really have to apply in order to change directions, as my straight A's means all I really have to do is formally notify the college and university of my intent. They even have a part-time MBA program where the majority of my courses will meet in the evening, freeing up J to finish nursing school during the day while E is in school and I am home with Zachary. Could it be possible that we can have 2 kids, 2 adults as full-time college students, and my full-time work and still not need to spend $500-$600/ month on daycare? (The going rate around here right now.) Where there is a will, there truly is a way.

But regardless of whether it is spending time with my boys, returning to work, or going back to school, I am really looking foward to the day where I won't be so restricted. Most pregnant women consider the time before delivery as the last days of freedom. Anyone who has gone through a complicated pregnancy knows the opposite to be true, and instead looks forward to a time where they don't have to worry about every tiny movement adversely affecting the health of their baby. I am no different. I don't worry about recovering from a c-section or sleepless nights with a newborn. Those don't phase me in the slightest. I'm just ready to get on with our lives.

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree with you! I won't feel free until I have my baby.