24 wks, 1 day/ 2 days: Unrelenting

So on this day, I go back to work, and am assigned an ICU at the hospital. This has to be the favorite part of my job, as I get to really use my brain, to an extent. And this is the first time since all of these complications have started that I have had such an assignment. But an ICU assignment can either be easy or hard, and there is no way to tell from one day to the next which it is going to be. This one started easy. It didn't finish that way. I started with 3 ventilator patients and ended my shift with 9. The night was full of patient transports and receiving full arrests from other facilities and other areas of the hospital. I really gave the brethine pump a run for it's money. By about 4 AM, my belly felt so tight I could barely stand it. I couldn't feel any distinct contractions, just tightness and pain. So one of OB RN friends runs into me in the hall, and tells me how crappy I look. Somehow, I ended up on a monitor just to see, and was contracting every 3 minutes. Gah!

The contractions weren't the biggest issue though. My phone started ringing off the hook. This patient had blood coming out of his endotracheal tube. Another patient needed to go for a stat head CT. And they were relying on me. I could have put my foot down and called one of my coworkers to do it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. After all, my problems are not their problems. I am so tired of feeling like a nuisance, like a non-contributory party. And no one has said anything to me to make me feel this way. I do on my own. I am so used to being independent that have a hard time asking for help that is not offered. Yeah, I talk a good game. I know that the baby comes first and all, but I cannot just suck it up when push comes to shove. In the end, it made for a very exhausting night at work, both physically and emotionally.

The night did have a slight silver lining, however, when I returned home contracting every 3 minutes. Through the home monitor and the brethine pump, and several phone calls between myself and a home health nurse, I was able to get everything stopped without having to go back to the hospital. She would have me run a strip, then call and have me give myself a bolus, then repeat. We did this until the contractions were completely stopped! Sweet!