Not Ready

How in the Blue Hell is that possible???

I have 3 days left of being pregnant. (Of course there is always the slim chance that we don't get the results we hope for from the amnio, then I will crap my pants and require heavy tranquilizers to stay pregnant.) Of those 3 days, I have today free and clear. The amnio is tomorrow, and I am sure to feel crampy and uncomfortable afterward and won't want to do anything. Thursday is occupied with my doctor's appointment and my mother-in-law arriving, plus the arrangements to get all of this blasted equipment back to the home health company. So really, that just leaves today.

And yesterday, while lying in the hospital wondering if they were going to just do the deed, I realized something. I haven't packed a bag. Holy Procrastination, Batman! So that is my mission for today, assuming the pain subsides a bit and I can function for a little while.

I'm passing up the cutesy nightgowns and robes. I don't sleep in that crap at home. I'm more of a baggy-tee-and-scrub-bottoms kinda girl. Hot, right? But I've been to this rodeo before, and don't really care, so that is what is going with me to the hospital. And the biggest maternity panties I can find--the kind that, should they catch a gust of wind, could carry me away. And they can't be the cutesy under-the-belly variety, because where those fall, I will have a big 'ol incision. Plus they have to accomodate the pads that resemble sitting on a box for days. Unless of course I want to wear the oh-so-attractive mesh ones they give you.

Hmmmm. What else do I need? Shampoo, conditioner, hairspray, elastics, makeup. The last one I wouldn't care about but I am looking rather pasty and anemic after months of no daylight, and at some point, I am going to be in a pic or two. Toothbrush and toothpaste. Deodorant. Lotion. I wish I would have bought purse-sized versions of my standards, but I didn't. I have to smell like a girl, and not a cheap girl, either. And my facial stuff. I have to have my Clinique or my face rivals a pubescent girl's. Then I need a camera and its charger, and maybe a good book and mp3 player.

For Zachary? Itsy-bitsy socks. I keep the room cool to sleep and the bambino's tootsies will freeze off. PJ's for the same reason. And take-home outfits of different sizes. I have a tiny preemie one that I was planning on using when we thought he was coming at 34 weeks and anticipating a 6 pounder. E was 6 lbs, 7 oz., but was so scrawny that newborn sizes swallowed him whole. Now I am over 35, almost 36, weeks, and wonder if the kid is going to be 9 pounds. So I am covering all of the bases. Some good receiving blankets, unlike the cheapo hospital ones. And of course the carseat, which I think still has tags and manuals attached--have to check on that.

Of course my luggage smells stale from being put away in a musty basement, so now I have to find laundering instructions for Vera Bradley stuff, because if my clothes smell like that and not detergent, it will drive me bonkers. And no doubt it will have to air-dry, which will probably take all day and hinder the whole packing thing.

Plus J's mom is coming, so I have to launder all of the bedding for her. I also have to make sure all of the receipts/ price tags are removed from the premises or destroyed. I can already hear it: " You spent $200 on a crib blanket????? Why didn't you buy an old one from a yard sale?!?!" or "That baby outfit cost that much? He's just going to puke on it!" I really should listen to her. The woman could cure the national debt in about one week with the way she manages money. But I like what I like, and up until bedrest, I worked hard for the money to match my expensive taste.

So I have a few things to do today. Feeling a bit overwhelmed. And I should be getting started, but J and E are still asleep, so I can't without waking them. Instead, I am going back to bed for an hour or so.