34 Wks, 4 Days: A Little More Freedom

One More Week. (Is this getting annoying or what?)

Yesterday I did my monitoring as required. It really is futile, as they do nothing about the contractions anymore. The nurse called back and told me that the strip looked like any other of mine, and actually told me to stop monitoring. I don't know how many contractions I had, but it must have been bad. How can I not know? Well, I don't count anymore, and it has gotten to the point where my uterus is in a state of relaxation less than it is a state of contracting. One after the other after the other. The scariest ones for me are the ones that seem to build on top of each other: I'll be having a contraction, and before anything has had a chance to relax, another one starts and builds on top of the last one. Here lately, Zachary hs started flailing his little appendages in there with the contractions, which hurts like hell. I think he is getting tired of being squeezed. Sometimes, just having the monitor on my belly is enough to set him off, as if to say, "Hey! Something is pressing on me!"

So anyhow, I am now free from the monitor. Unless something feels different, then I can do it as needed. So the 17P shots are done and the monitoring is done. Now I just have to lose the brethine pump. I think that is happening Thursday when I go in to get my amnio results and pre-op instructions. Since a c-section bypasses nature and the uterus doesn't contract down to size on its own like in a vaginal delivery, they give you pitocin afterwards. I cannot imagine they would want me on a tocolytic before they do the deed. Which means Thursday night, if they do stop the pump, is going to be awful for me. I doubt the contractions can get any more frequent, but they can get stronger without the brethine infusion my body has been getting all along. Ugh!

Which leads me to the dreading of the pitocin. That was by far the worst part of E's delivery. I cannot even remember how long it was that they kept me on it, but that was very painful. Imagine contracting against a fresh wound, when your muscle is completely worn out from all of the contracting done beforehand. I didn't rely on pain meds a lot after having E, but I do remember that I spent those hours in a narcotic-induced fog.

But regardless, today starts my official last week of pregnancy. It's very surreal knowing when it will all end. It has its advantages and disadvantages. I can be completely ready, with bags packed, nursery ready, and more. But I also have time beforehand to think about what is going to happen, to dread the bad parts. And while having a plan made me feel better at first, now it is having the opposite effect. When the pain gets to be too much, I can't help but think that it is just a week away, and wish for them to just do it already. And it is frustrating not knowing a time, but they won't give me one yet. They are worried that the amnio on Wednesday will do me in. I have a high level of fluid, a big baby, and a worn-out uterus that is distended beyond where it should be. Inserting a needle in there at this point could have the same effect as putting one in a balloon overly-filled with water. If that is the case, I will be having him Wednesday. Or Thursday. Thus, no official time planned. Just a date.

30 Wks, 4 Days: Surely Not

J and I were sitting in the living room last night. Well, I wasn't sitting, but reclining. We had eaten dinner, and I had that feeling I get these days after I eat anything. There is no more room in my body. But this time, it felt even worse, so I hitched up my t-shirt to look, and J and I found the top of my uterus, which should be between 5 to 6 inches from my belly button at this stage in the game.

Hmmmmm. Between excess amniotic fluid and a big baby, I knew I was measuring big for dates--about 3 weeks ahead to be exact. But this?

We measured, and got about 9 and a half inches. NINE!!!!! If you picture 9 and a half inches from your belly button, you would think this is impossible. I assure you, I am not exaggerating. So the convo went like this:

J: "The doctor is gonna deliver you next week!"

Me: "Nah....He's big, but he isn't ready yet. And besides, some of this is excess fluid."

J: "He would if he were the one having to carry that around! No wonder you can't eat anymore. Or breathe." (He's sounding really worried, bless his heart!)

Me: "Well,this is what happens. I didn't carry like this with E, so you didn't notice then."

J: "But Andrea..."

Me: "Well, it's not like I'm going to spontaneously explode or anything, right?"

At this point, Diet Dr. Pepper comes shooting out of J's nose as he cracks up laughing.

Me: "I mean, it's not like I'm a container of Jiffy Pop and the foil covering is going to burst if I keep it cooking.... I'm going to ask the doctor at my appointment on Tuesday."

J: "You do that, and I am going to leave you there!"

So now I am wondering, since I am a repeat c-section, does it matter? I mean, it's not like he's going to come out down there. But then again, can a too-big uterus cause my old scar to split? Can I literally burst?

29 Wks, 1 Day: Back to the Doctor

Today I had my 29-week checkup. I saw the doctor who sent me to the dreaded OB Mecca last time. He is the same one I saw exclusively in the beginning of the pregnancy, and the same one scheduled for my "official" c-section. I love the man. As a matter of fact, the nurse who scheduled me with him is a genius! I had told her of my obstetrical history and told her I could eventually become a problem patient, and to assign me to one of the doctors who is patient. Of course, that was back when I had a choice in the matter as a repeat c-section patient. Before I became high-risk again and had to start seeing all of them.

He took the time to address all of my concerns. I asked about the polyhydramnios, and he said at my level of 23, he wouldn't worry too much. He doesn't get worried until 25 or so, and that it goes along with having a big baby in there. That they would look for gestational diabetes, but one of his partners already had me complete the 3-hour glucose tolerance test, even though my 1-hour was normal. He told me this is probably the source of a great deal of these contractions: me and my larger-then-normal uterus.

Then he measured me. As expected, I am meauring at about the 34-week mark at 29 weeks because of Gargantuan Baby with his excess fluid, no doubt.

Then we got down to the nitty gritty. As in "what is the plan, man?!" Hmmmm.
I told him that we had a date scheduled for June 3,417 days before my EDD. My exact words? "That's not going to happen, is it? Please tell me that isn't going to happen!" His response was that he wants to get me to 37 weeks.

Ummmm. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I understand the concept. But really? I know that he cannot officially plan anything earlier than that. But. Dang! He also told me that if it looks like I am not going to make it, they will do my amniocentesis to check lung maturity and let me have him. I was comforted by this. Because I know I am not going to make it. And I know that they are going to check Zachary out very thoroughly before they make their move.

28 wks, 4 days: Yesterday's Ultrasound and Why Medical People Should Not Be Allowed to Google

Hmmmm. Apparently the Indocin I got in the hospital can cause some side effects. Lowered amniotic fluid levels (oligohydramnios), as well as heart defects in the fetus. I wish I would have known this then, but nobody told me, and I honestly did not ask. I realize that sometimes it is just a matter of the risk out-weighing the benefits, and vice versa. And I trust my doctors. Looking back, they were very judicious with its use, and now I know why. I can't be upset or angry. When you have a patient who is 27/28 weeks preggers, contracting every 2 minutes, you simply have to make it stop. And they did.

So anyhow...They wanted me to go in for a STAT ultrasound yesterday to check things out and survey for any possible damage. So I go. J drives me, and sits in the car with E. It is the first time he has missed an ultrasound, and he is bummed about it, but I don't know what all they are going to do, and feel like E shouldn't be there in case they want to do something that reveals part of me that should not be revealed to my 8-year-old son.

The baby seems perfect. Too perfect. He had taken up residence by my rib cage, with his little feet dangling downward. Which explains the full feeling I had. He was literally, crown to rump, right there. His little heart was doing exactly like it should. His organs appeared to be intact. And he is still big. As in they estimate his size to be 3 pounds, 15 ounces right now. This places him in the 95th percentile for size at this gestation. If a baby truly puts on a half a pound a week in the last trimester, that would mean he would be over 9 pounds at full-term, and somewhere around 6 at 34-35 weeks. Looking back, E was 6 pounds when born at 34 weeks, so he would've been a big boy too, had I carried him to term. So this is famliar territory.

But the fluid...At 26 weeks, I had excess amniotic fluid. I still do, and it has worsened. I know the dangers of low fluid. I have resuscitated babies in the NICU for this problem. But too much? Huh? Could it be bad? I ask the tech who did my ultrasound,and she said the first thought with both a big baby and excess fluid would be gestational diabetes. I don't have that. My 1-hour glucose tolerance test was normal, but since I met the clinical picture for diabetes, they made me do the 3-hour one anyhow, and it was also perfect. So no, not that. I asked if it could be dangerous, and she told me that it gives the baby more room to flip and turn, so there is an increased risk of cord entanglement. So far, Zachary is fine. She also said with the uterus being bigger than normal, it can fool the body into thinking it is further along than it is, and can cause preterm labor and birth. Things that make you go Hmmmmmmm...

So I come home, and I start to google polyhydramnios. Bad. Very bad. When you have no idea what you are reading, googling medical info can seem scary, but ignorance puts a blinder on you in a way. But when you know, like I know, what some of these things are, it can scare you to death. I should not be allowed to google anything medical. I should block the action from my computer. Kidney anomalies, diaphragmatic hernia, heart defects, swallowing and GI defects, other generalized birth defects. Uhhh.

So now I am scared. And even more anxious for this pregnancy to be finished so I know Z is okay.